How do you feel when you’re confident?
Think about it for a moment. When you’ve been confident, what did it feel like?
- You feel comfortable and at peace
- Rise above the feelings of fear
- You feel strong and capable
- You believe you can achieve
- You think ‘I can do it’
Think of a person you know who always seems to have it together? What are their traits? How do they behave? They radiate positive energy, they smile, they are interested and they say Good Morning! It’s a really nice feeling to be confident!
Exploring the flip side, how do you feel when you’re lacking in confidence?
Perhaps take yourself back to a moment where you felt lacking in confidence.
- Did you feel down, maybe even depressed?
- Did you feel anxious, have those hot and sweaty moments?
- Did you feel like you’re not good enough?
- That you might fail?
These aren’t great feelings and certainly not ones that inspire a growth mindset.
To me confidence is not just a feeling we have, it’s a state of mind. It’s a shift in thinking, to believing in who you are, the things you do and the person you want to grow into. It brings a lightness of spirit, that drives you forward to achieve because you trust and believe in you. Imagine how you’d feel if with every action you took in your work, you trusted and believed in yourself? It would be such a great feeling!
We know that confidence is a good thing to want, but how do you ignite the want?
The foundations of motivation to achieve anything come from two things.
These are your core values and playing to your strengths.
Values are things like trust and respect. When you live and work in line with your values, you feel a greater sense of fulfilment and happiness. The way to get to this level is by knowing what your personal values are and what authentic success looks like for you.
Your organisation will have a set of values, but do you?
- What do you believe in?
- What do you stand for?
- What do you want to be remembered for?
These are really hard but powerful questions. Authentic success comes from answering these questions.
Do you know your top strengths?
Personal strengths are the things you are passionate about. They are your talents.
- Do you love working with numbers?
- Do you like learning new things?
- What would your friends, family, colleagues say you are good at?
There’s a lot of research that states working with your strengths makes us happier and more effective, so it’s really in your interest to know what you are best at. So, what does get you going?
- Make an effort to find out what they are, and nurture them each day.
- Add tasks to your development plan that build your signature strengths.
If you do this, you’ll feel alive and ignite a fire in your belly to WANT to grow, learn and achieve.
What’s stopping you from being more productive, effective, successful is fear.
Lack of confidence centres around fear and that’s connected to the beliefs we have conditioned within ourselves. I want you to have a new view on fear that’s inviting, that welcomes you to challenge it and grow.
Fear is natural and helps us to take flight when danger is present, but, I also see it as a strong message about wanting something more. We become afraid because we actually want something.
We can all embrace fear to grow and learn and perform, but first you have to recognise it’s there, and then rationalise it. It needs to be put into perspective, and I’m going to show you how with three questions
- What’s the worst that can happen? Think of the situation, if your worst fear happened what would that look like? See if play out in your mind. Take a moment now.
- Can I do anything to change the outcome, how much can I influence it, what are the options open to me? Is there anything within your power that you could do to minimise this worst-case result? Give an example of a presentation, how could you prepare?
- How would I feel if I embraced my fear and did it? Quite often we focus on the things that will go wrong, but I want you to consider how you would feel if you succeeded and overcame your fear. By running away from fear, we avoid situations that could make us perform better than we could ever imagine.
Really understand the fears you have in your role. Catch them and ask the three questions
When we indulge our fears, we are endorsing negative beliefs.
The more we tell ourselves that ‘I can’t’ or ‘I’m not good enough, the more we believe it’s true. What negative statements do you tell yourself each day at work?
Catch them, make a list and the reverse them ‘I am capable’, ‘I am worthy’, ‘I am deserving of success’, ‘I am the best version of me right now’. Your brain will programme what you tell it over and over, so tell it positive statements which will encourage you to perform well and succeed.
Are you giving yourself permission to achieve and be successful, or are you waiting for someone to give it to you? Is there a promotion or job you’d like to apply for but you are waiting for your manager to say ‘you should apply’?
Take responsibility for your life and career, give yourself that permission slip, and don’t hold yourself back. We can be guilty of withholding so many permissions and really holding ourselves back. Try and see what permissions you need to give yourself. If necessary write yourself a permission slip.
Often, we see it as a weakness to ask for help, but in fact it’s a strength.
Playing to your strengths and the strengths of others is the best thing you can do.
Identify which tasks you are procrastinating with. Are they your strengths? If not, who in your team has the capability, the strength? Ask them for help, they will not say no
By working on these elements, you will improve your performance and perhaps inspire the people around you!
If you’d like a consultation about how to improve your performance, please contact me.
For fourteen years Danielle worked in the male dominated industry of Logistics and Supply Chain Management. Danielle’s work took her not only to all corners of the UK, but onto European and International destinations with prestigious brands such as Coca Cola, Tesco, Oxford University Press, Stanley Black & Decker and Panasonic. She achieved her ambition to one day have a global remit.
Throughout her career she has been dedicated to personal development and growth. A particular triumph was growing into her own authentic confident version of herself which catapulted her to win two industry accolades in 2013, one of which was the Everywoman DHL Award for Innovation and Sustainability.
Danielle believes that if we are growing, life will present challenges and obstacles, but it’s up to you if you accept them. Before acceptance there is fear. This will always be there. It’s the feeling of the impossible task, that you’re not good enough or that you will fail. To know the outcome, you have to take action and try.
This ethos lives in Danielle’s work as a confidence coach, trainer and author. Danielle has captured her knowledge and experience on this subject in her book Confidence through Courage. Using her valuable experience as a success in her industry, she helps others to push themselves over the boundaries of fear to find the inner confidence to achieve personal and professional success. Danielle inspires people to change and achieve through learning confidence!