What’s stopping you from being more productive, effective, successful is fear. Lack of confidence centres around fear and is connected to the beliefs we have conditioned within ourselves.
Fear is the roadblock towards confidence. When you feel a lack of confidence, you are indulging and trusting in your fear. You believe the outcome will be negative if you try. This type of thinking can lead to:
- Feeling of lack of fulfilment and unhappiness
- Low motivation and self-esteem
- Lack of success
- Feeling unfit and unhealthy
Fear is natural and helps us to take flight when danger is present, but, I also see it as a strong message about wanting something more. We become afraid because we actually want something.
I want you to have a new view on fear that’s inviting, that welcomes you to challenge it and grow.
The good news is that you can learn how to be more confident and spark courage to act. You can learn to be grateful for fear existing and you can embrace it with both hands by understanding it. The three key areas confidence with courage can overcome are:
Fear won’t simply go away. It takes a conscious effort to nurture the skills of confidence. The foundation of growth comes from a decision; a decision to overcome fear. At the end of the day you have a choice to make in everything you do.
What is fear?
Fear is an emotion which drives us towards action. This action can be positively productive and help you grow and develop, or as in many cases, it can cause you to stop and do nothing. When you choose to do nothing, the ego takes over the heart in decision- making.
The ego is a type of personality or identity that is created by your mind. Within this personality are a set of beliefs. Beliefs are thoughts about ourselves, our gifts, our talents, our strengths and weaknesses. As such, it creates a persona about who you are, which is not necessarily true.
The ego loves fear and is in its element when in play, thus bringing drama, crisis, insecurity and doubt into your life. These beliefs can be formed in childhood years, or they can be developed in the present.
There is a choice between believing in the ego’s negative beliefs and those from your heart, the positive. Overcoming negative beliefs is the foundation to building confidence.
Fear is always going to be with us and it will try to introduce and promote negative beliefs. It’s part of our human nature, however, it’s within our gift to understand them and determine how we feel.
There is a decision to be made when you are aware that fear and negative beliefs are in play:
Indulge the fear, limit yourself and never reach your true full potential.
Understand what the fear really is and why it’s there, embrace it, be positive.
I hope you will agree that option two is where self-growth and development happens. This is where you allow yourself to become your authentic-self, which is the best version of you that you can possibly be.
Fear of failure
Fear of failure is the biggest obstacle to success. It stops you from moving forward, from realising your full potential and from achieving your goals. Living in your zone of potential is part of who you are, however it’s still possible to supress it with fear.
It’s said that up to the age of six, fears of failure and rejection are set as a programme in your brain. They set the boundary lines for your comfort zone radius. That’s why, when you venture outside of this zone you feel a sense of anxiety. This feeling prevents you from growth.
Often failure is seen as weak, but could failure be not trying? How will you know success if you don’t at least try?
I love this quote by Paulo Coelho as it’s extremely poignant.
“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve, the fear of failure.”
So let’s focus on these words and try and overcome this fear of failure.
How to Overcome Fear
I’ve learned to recognise that if I’m not afraid, I’m not truly living and I’m not pushing myself forward. Have you ever noticed how happy and energised you are after taking a challenge head on that you were afraid of, and actually doing it? The next time it’s easier, the fear is somewhat less apparent and you feel more comfortable.
We can all embrace fear to grow and learn and perform, but first you have to recognise it’s there. By accepting fear is present, by rationalising it and embracing it, you can find yourself with a new curiosity, an appetite to try new things. This leads to personal growth and increased confidence.
To become different, something needs to change. If you keep doing the same things nothing will change. You are how you are now because of you and the choices you make as a result of your mental programming. The way to bring change and personal development is by gradually and consciously evolving outside of your comfort zone. Be flexible on this journey to new ideas and options. Breakthroughs are often found outside of our thinking habits. Talk to people and share ideas. Don’t dismiss unusual ideas, instead take some time to consider them. Remember you are operating from a place of habit, so be open to something new. When you try new things and venture outside of your comfort zone, fear will come into play. Each time a new fear arises, catch it and talk to it directly. Challenge it with six questions.
Think of a situation in your career where you are afraid of taking action. What is that fear?
Now ask yourself these six questions:
These questions really give fear perspective.
Fear really is a state of mind and can be managed, so take some undisturbed quiet time to reflect on these questions and feel empowered to take action!
For fourteen years Danielle worked in the male dominated industry of Logistics and Supply Chain Management. Danielle’s work took her not only to all corners of the UK, but onto European and International destinations with prestigious brands such as Coca Cola, Tesco, Oxford University Press, Stanley Black & Decker and Panasonic. She achieved her ambition to one day have a global remit.
Throughout her career she has been dedicated to personal development and growth. A particular triumph was growing into her own authentic confident version of herself which catapulted her to win two industry accolades in 2013, one of which was the Everywoman DHL Award for Innovation and Sustainability.
Danielle believes that if we are growing, life will present challenges and obstacles, but it’s up to you if you accept them. Before acceptance there is fear. This will always be there. It’s the feeling of the impossible task, that you’re not good enough or that you will fail. To know the outcome, you have to take action and try.
This ethos lives in Danielle’s work as a confidence coach, trainer and author. Danielle has captured her knowledge and experience on this subject in her book Confidence through Courage. Using her valuable experience as a success in her industry, she helps others to push themselves over the boundaries of fear to find the inner confidence to achieve personal and professional success. Danielle inspires people to change and achieve through learning confidence!